Kissing in America by Margo Rabb
CW: Loss of a Parent, Generational Trauma, Rattlesnake, Mental Illness, Money Problems, Neglectful Parents, Bankruptcy, Grief, Depression, Discussed Alcoholism, Discussion of the Holocaust, Description of Bodily Decay, Discussion of a Stillborn Pregnancy, Discussion of Racism, Discussion of STDs, Child Abandonment, Discussion of Mass Death, Loss of a Sibling, Slut Shaming, Body Shaming, Swearing
4.5/5
"Is this a kissing book?" Only kind of. Kissing in America does have some kissing in it, but it is not a romance! This is a story about grief and searching for yourself, about bad things and how we recover from them. I had just read a book about grief before this one, so I was hesitant to start another, but I'm glad I did. Margo Rabb is a Jewish author that I had yet to check out. I'm always glad to add another to my "pull list". There were some parts of this book that were hard for me to read, but I believe I will be reading more of Rabb's books.
Kissing in America is about Eva Roth, a high schooler who had lost her father in a tragic accident 2 years prior. Her mother has distanced herself from Eva and won't talk about it. When Will, a boy she tutors, provides a safe space for her to talk about her grief, they form a bond. Unfortunately he moves to California, causing a flare up in Eva's grief. She hatches a plan that will get her to L.A. and hopefully help her best friend, Annie, along the way. They are to go on a road trip ending with a Jeopardy-like game show that awards a college scholarship. Eva, Annie, and their families learn a lot about themselves along the way. Eva finally gets a chance to start healing from her father's death.
The problem with reading teen books that are even partially relatable when you've reached adulthood is that you're likely to reflect on your teen self and cringe. Considering my autism diagnosis, I try to be kind to past-me, but sometimes those flashes just happen. Despite the fact that Will knowingly contributes to the romantic feelings Eva has for him, I found it hard to read when she was pining for him. Luckily this story is about much more than Eva and Will. Despite my dislike for these moments, I don't see it as a negative for the book. It is realistic to do silly things for a high school crush, especially when they show interest in you. Trial and error can be a great teacher.
Rabb handles grief, generational trauma, and money problems very well. Eva's grandmother had lived through the Holocaust and passed down repression as a coping mechanism to her daughter. This greatly affects Eva, who feels like she's sneaking around to acknowledge her father's death. Eva also reaches a breaking point in her tolerance for her mother. The road trip is an act of rebellion. Along the way she gets bogged down by her past due to her aunt's insistence to join the girls, new news about the accident that took her father, and having new people in her life that end up learning about her tragedy. She, or perhaps life, finds a way of making her whole again. She wants to help Annie afford college, she needs to get comfortable with writing poetry again, and she has to communicate with those she truly loves.
Kissing In America will not be a light read, even if it is a shorter one. Rabb balances the grief with exciting stops along the road trip, Jewish flair (such as the use of Yiddish), and funny moments, but the overall tone is somber and inspirational. I highly recommend the book and I highly recommend being prepared for it. Take breaks if you need them and read safely!
Bonus Content
If you're interested, there is a Mixed CD in the book that I have compiled into a playlist.
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